It seems that young relationship seekers are falling out of love with the digital dating scene.
According to Ofcom’s 2024 Online Nation report there has been a dramatic decline in the use of dating apps over the last 12 months.
More than half a million users have swiped left on Tinder and left the platform since 2023, while Bumble and Hinge have also seen losses of 368,000 and 131,000 singles respectively.
“Some analysts speculate that for younger people, particularly Gen Z, the novelty of dating apps is wearing off,” Ofcom said in the report.
According to NI relationship coach and former matchmaker Denise McNally, a contributing factor in the decline of online dating could be the fact many young people have become “desensitised to and fatigued by the apps”.
“Gen Zs have had internet connectivity from birth, digital apps are something most young people are very familiar with and comfortable using,” she told The Irish News.
“But from the feedback I’m getting from clients that’s part of the problem - a lot of them are saying they’re exhausted with swiping and have lost active interest in the apps. It’s almost like a box of chocolates – sickening if you indulge too much.
More: ‘After trying Tinder, Bumble and Hinge, I wish we could do it the old-fashioned way’
“Some have actually called them ‘cringe’ – which to me suggests that even though dating apps have become an incredibly common way for relationships to start I think some people still feel a sense of embarrassment about meeting someone online.”
Additionally Denise says that many of her clients have gone off using dating apps due to safety concerns.
“It’s very hard when you’re swiping and you’re experiencing swiping fatigue to really know if someone is authentic or not,” she explains.
“And there have been an awful lot of stories in the media covering some really upsetting occurrences that have happened as result of people meeting on dating apps and that’s scary.
“People want something safe, authentic, professional and private.”
This is part of the reason people like project leader Catherine-May Burke (24) have become less active on online dating profiles in recent months.
“The main apps like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge seem to mainly to be used for hook-ups and I don’t feel like you get a lot of genuine dates or connections.
“Some people’s profiles look really genuine and they say they’re looking for a long-term relationship but then you match and the first thing they do is send you a vulgar message.
“Or you’ll be chatting to someone, and you move the conversation to WhatsApp or Instagram and meet them for coffee – which is fine - but then you’ll get stalked, or they’ll send an unsolicited picture.
“And that just seems to be a really common part of dating now – it’s no wonder Northern Ireland is one of the most dangerous places for women in Europe.”
Catherine-May also believes that social media and the frivolous nature of the apps has “ruined dating”.
“You could be messaging someone and getting on really well and then you’re ghosted because they’ve matched with someone who’s prettier or has a better job than you do – it just feels like a rotation,” she says.
“I’m guilty of it too – if someone’s replies change up, I just move on to the next and I think because of that fast changeover you’re not really giving anyone a proper chance.
“And social media gives you so much access to people so you don’t actually have to talk to them or go out with them to get an idea of who they are – you can just look them up on Instagram.”
Even those who have found success through swiping have admitted to feeling “lucky” finding a long-term partner.
Model and content creator Molly Burns (23) says prior to meeting her boyfriend Cameron Geddes on Tinder she “wasn’t a huge fan” of the app.
“I knew that a lot of the people on it were usually only after one thing and I wasn’t really after anything,” she recalls.
“And I was always really apprehensive about going on a date from an app because I’m quite a cautious person and obviously you hear the horror stories about other people’s experiences on Tinder.”
Molly confessed that even after connecting with Cameron she was reluctant to tell her family she had met someone online.
“Honestly I was scared to tell my mummy I was on a dating app – I thought she was going to shout at me or something even though I was 20 at the time,” laughs Molly.
“I think a lot of people have preconceived ideas of dating apps and that kind of thing because of the reputation they have.
“And to be fair, before I matched with Cameron, I came across a lot of young men that really weren’t the vibe.”
Now, two years later, the couple live in Belfast together with their dog Harlow. However, despite her own success, Molly said understands why other young people are sick of swiping.
“For me personally is made dating less scary – it took away a lot of the anxiety around putting yourself out there because you can text and facetime before you meet in person.
“But I think you have to have a really good judge of character to be able to weed out people who maybe aren’t on it for the right reasons – there has to be a lot of self-due diligence and that can be tiring.”
Similarly, university course coordinator and former Tinder swiper Jenna Lees (23) met her partner Charlie Passalacqua on the app and the couple got engaged in August last year.
Jenna confesses that she “wasn’t looking for anything serious” when she initially downloaded the app.
More: Tinder chief executive Renate Nyborg leaves the dating app
“It was the summer after I’d graduated and I was really just looking to meet new people,” she explained.
“To be honest I didn’t think there were normal people on Tinder, I always saw it as quite casual – I never saw myself ending up with someone I met off it.”
I went into my first date with Charlie no expectations and the minute I walked it in I was like ‘this is probably the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with’ and we both felt that way
— Jenna Lees
However, she believes using an app can help people “feel more confident and give them an extra push”.
“A lot of people put pressure on themselves to meet someone in person and have that ‘meet-cute’ moment but you can still have that if you meet on a dating app.
“I went into my first date with Charlie no expectations and the minute I walked it in I was like ‘this is probably the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with’ and we both felt that way.
“And to me that’s a beautiful love story.”
