Sifu (PS4/5)
By: Sloclap
I WASN'T ready for how quickly Sifu would hand me my butt. An unstoppable wrecking ball of a game, Paris-based Sloclap's take on kung fu is a clean, constant hit of adrenalin that'll leave the lily-livered feeling black and blue.
With a plot pilfered from pretty much every golden age martial arts flick, players step into the slippers of a kung fu master out for revenge against the gang that killed their pappy.
You know your five targets from the off – reaching them, however, means a descent into China's criminal underbelly.
Sifu's developers worked with a Pak Mei kung fu master to ensure the protagonist's moves were as realistic as possible. With copious shout-outs to decades of badly-dubbed cinema, from Oldboy's hallway fight to Kill Bill, each of its five stages has players running a gauntlet of lesser thugs en route to the boss.
No button-mashing here – Sifu's regimented fisticuffs demand each situation be sized up as you isolate the weak and keep an eye out for every pack's hidden ace.
Combat plays out something akin to Batman's Arkham series, with its chaining of rapid attacks and blocking or dodging with pinpoint accuracy, and where a slow and steady flow always leads to better results.
However, if Sifu's moves are ripped from real life, its hook is pure fantasy. Technically the player can never die – except from old age. Instead, each dirt nap – and Sifu isn't shy about showing you the 'game over' screen – literally puts years on you.
Starting off as a fresh-faced 20-year-old, getting back up from your first KO adds a year to their life, next time two and so on. With each passing decade your health bar shrinks, but raw power and experience increase as players run the gamut from energetic young pup through seasoned brawler to wizened old kung fu master. Pass the ripe old age of 70, however, and death is permanent.
Given Sifu is every bit as brutal as getting whupped by a kung fu master should be, you'll often be reduced to a rattly pensioner within minutes, meaning replaying levels ad nauseum, while bosses, with their whopping health bars and ability to shrug off attacks, are particularly infuriating.
With its punishing learning curve and ultra-detailed hand-to-hand combat, Sifu's ridiculously repetitive kung fu hustle balances youthful badassery with the ravages of time. It's no cakewalk, but then life isn't fair, and Sifu at least proves you can teach an old dog new tricks with non-stop chop-sock malarkey that's sure to be a hit with the YouTuber crowd – one of whom has just licked it in 40 minutes with zero deaths.
